Kawphy.News.BBS.Calgary                                               Issue #7

HAPPY NEW YEAR! As you read this I'm either A) Partying B) Sleeping... In
any case... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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<=- Head Line News<so to speak> -=>

*Stuff*
 by Nscafe Unleaded
 Kawphy.News.BBS.Calgary
 Wednesday, December 11, 1996 Vol 1. No. 7
 
  Have you ever had one of those days where your sure your going quite mad?
Well, if you haven't, DON'T! It's not a nice thing to have happen to you.
There you are, all nice and sure that the table won't talk to you. When all
of a sudden, your debating in your mind weather or not Coffee should be made
into a Jell-O flavour. You may start to feel that this argument can only be
solved be slashing your toes wide open and enjoy the Salt you just rubbed
into the open wound. Well, let me tell you. Going mad isn't fun, it's very
annoying actully. Firstly, if you get caught going mad(be it in Math class,
or on the C-Train) you will be in for quite a long trip. First to the
Principle's office, then to the Nurse's, then worse, they call your parents.
So you get the afternoon off of school, hip hip horey right? Nope. It's
worse when your alone. Sitting there, infront of your computer. You may be
reading this at the time, but in any case. Your monitor starts to shrink
away from you. Slowly at first, then a giant leap. Before you shake your
head and come back to `us'. Remember, you'll never know what your
sub-consious wanted of you, until you go down that road. Oh, if you
expirence this effect, your not going mad, your just letting your mind float
around.
 
*Fuckin' Kids*
 by Nscafe Unleaded
 Kawphy.News.BBS.Calgary
 Wednesday, December 11, 1996 Vol 1. No. 7
 
  So, there I am watching TV. When all of a sudden I'm stuck watching this
thing a Vampire Cult. "Oh yea." I say, knowing full well that the <ahem>
reporter will have a biased view. The next thing I know is that there
telling me that Vampire The Masquerade could have lead this Vampire Cult to
kill one of it's members parents.

  Now, I'm not sure how many of you have played VtM, but I know there's a
fare bit of you out there. This show also compared VtM with AD&D. Now, yes,
they are both RPG's. One is just a Role playing game, where as the other is
a Roll playing game. You get to decide which is which(Hint - You can't buy a
bag of holding). Now, maybe I'm under estimating these American kids. They
could be blaming what they did on VtM, to get a lighter sentance, but some
how I think it's more of a case of the Law trying to find a motive. So why
not pick on a innocent game like VtM. Gee, do you get the feeling that I'm
defending VtM? Well, I am. If stupid people can't figure out Real Life(tm)
from Fantasy. Then they should be shot on principle, or be moved to Quebec.
Which ever they perfer <grin>. Another thing, people say that RPG's have
lead to violence. Well, so has the Bible, and a host of other books. Who
here can say Holy War? Granted, it's move of a situation where Rome/England
wanted more land. But they pinned it on God, and the bible. That's a debate
I want to hold for another Rant/Babble however.

*LaserQuest*
 By Nscafe Unleaded
 Kawphy.News.BBS.Calgary
 Sunday, December 22, 1996 Vol 1. No. 7
 
  As most of you know, there's a place out there called LaserQuest. A nice
lil building you pass on your way to the SouthLand C-Train station. Kind of
a off white color. Anyways, inside this warehouse is an activity called
LaserQuest. What is LaserQuest? Well, you put on this harness, that has a
Gun(your laser), and four other sensors. The object of LaserQuest is to get
as many points as you can. You get points by shooting other people. Now, add
a dimly lit atmosphere, add loud, adrenline pumping music. It costs 18$ for
three 15minute games. I think it's 7.50$ for one game. It costs 25$ for a
regular membership, and 50$ for a VIP membership. Both are for a year.

*Deep Purple and the Three Techies*
 By Lunar Vixen
 Kawphy.News.BBS.Calgary
 Monday, December 30, 1996 Vol 1. No. 7
 
   Once upon a time, theres was this cute little Redhead whose name was Deep
Purple. One day while she was surfing the Net, she decided that she was
going to go outside and try something new.
   She looked all over for this new thing to do, when she bumped into an old
friend who was carrying a Laptop.
   "Excuse me Mr. Laptop. Do you know of something new for me to do?" She
asked him.
   "No, I don't know of anything new for you Deep Purple. You shouldn't be
out in the city all by yourself!" He said, dusting himself off.
   "But how will I be able to to do anything new if I don't go out?" She
said, beginning to feel sad.
   "Go home Deep Purple, you'll be safe there." He said, then he walked away.
   She looked to where he had come from. The place was called `Cyber Cafe'.
   "Hey! I have never been here before." She said to herself as she walked
into the cafe.
   There was no one else in the cafe except for three Techies, all sitting
in a booth. One had short hair and wore a baseball hat. Another had medium
length hair, and the third one had hair longer than her own! She walked up
to them.
   "Hello may I sit with you?"
   The three Techies looked up at her, then one another. The one with short
hair shrugged as the second one started to talk.
   "Sure!" and the thirs one just grinned.
   "Thank you, my name is Deep Purple." She said as she sat down next to the
grinning techie.
   "Hi my name is Diggybear." said the one with short hair, as he thought to
himself `I could sure go for some fruit right now'.
   "My name is Shadowbear." said the one with medium length hair, and he was
thinking `Wow! Legs!'.
   "My name is Happyfacebear." said the one with long hair, but we don't
want to know what he was thinking.
   "What do you do here? In the Cyber Cafe?" she asked.
   "We talk and drink coffee." said Shadowbear.
   "And like have fun, eh." said Diggybear. Happyfacebear just sat the
quietly grinning.
   "Well I have talked with people before, but I have never had coffee.
What's it like?" she said.
   "Good!" said Happyfacebear.
   "Here try mine!" said Diggybear. So she did, after taking one sip, she
scrunched her face in dislike.
   "AHH! Isn't she cute!" said Shadowbear and Happyfaccebear in Unison.
   "It's too bitter for me." she said as she gave Diggybear his coffee back.
   "Here. Try mine." said Shadowbear. And she did, but again she didn't like
it.
   "This one is too sweet for me." she said passing Shadowbear his coffee.
   "Here, you might like this." said Happyfacebear. Again she took a sip,
but this time she liked it.
   "It's not too bitter, it's not too sweet, it's just right for me." and
she ordered one for herself and gave Happyfacebear his coffee back.
   "I think I will like drinking coffee afterall." she said smilling at the
three Techies.
   "But what is this having fun?" she asked Diggybear.
 
>>> To be continued in a future Issue <<<

*Pentiums, one a day keeps the apple away*
 By Shadow Mage
 Kawphy.News.BBS.Calgary
 Friday, December 27, 1996 Vol 1 No. 7

  A modem, that's more than likely how you got this file, a piece of hardware
attached to your computer.  Your computer may be a 286 with a monochrome
monitor; or it may be a Pentium 133 with a super VGA color screen and all
sorts of other neat stuff.  Computer have come a long way from what they
used to be.  One way for a geek, gweep, or if you wanna get real anal, a
computer user, to tell howlong he/she has been around is to think back to
what the newest fabu thing was when you started with computers.

Do you remember 2400 Baud modems?  How about 300 baud modems?  8086's?  Long
time ago neh?(Now keep in mind all you geeks out there, if you answered yes
to any of the previous questions, you just carbon dated yourself HARSHLY!)
Well, now a days we have Pentiums, and 57.6 Kbaud modems.  Sometimes it can
be confusing as to what is out there to be had.

Starting from the top of the line, you got a Pentium Pro(mind you I am
neglecting Mac'n'trash<if you wish to gently flame me for this, please
direct all flames to the editor, Nscafe Unleaded.> but that's just me.).
These are the newest and coolest thing from Intel, however, their major
drawback... PRICE!!  These things are gawd damn fuckin' expensive, not to
mention the motherboards for them.  Next down the line is the Pentium,
another wonder by Intel.  These come in a fair range of speeds, from 75Mhz
all the way up to 200Mhz.  Now trying to get a new P75 is almost impossible
these days, mopst of them range from P100's and up, but soon the P100's will
be going out of production as well.  On another note, there are also other
manufacturers of Pentium class CPU's, namely AMD, and Cyrix.  I'd also like
to note that these CPU's don't perform quite as well as the Intel Pentium
CPU's, but they are cheeper.  I'll only go another step down in this CPU
chain, the 80486, or 486 for those who don't know any better.  The 486 is
going out in the computer market, in fact, I don't know too many places that
sell them any more.  These, like the Pentium class, are also made by several
manufacturers.

There are a few of you wondering what you should be looking at for a home
computer,(then again, some of you won't be 'cause you already have smokin'
machines.)  All ay really need these days if you really wanna kep up with
technology is a P100, simple SVGA video card and a hard drive that's over a
gig.  Alrighty then, this long bit has worn me out, so in the next issue or
so I'll talk more about video cards and shtuff.

*Fuckin' Cool*
 By Nscafe Unleaded
 Kawphy.News.BBS.Calgary
 Tuesday, December 31, 1996 Vol 1. No. 7
 
  K, I'm on-line right now. The BBS is called Mental Ward 9. Simply, it's a
lil better then Dischordia. Rather, it looks like more work has been put
into it. Aninmated Menu Screens, cool Tagline at the end of messages. What's
next? On-line VGA .GIF viewing? So, anyways, MWN is getting a facelift. I'll
finish the review when the facelift is done.

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Kawphy is still looking for writers. Email me at [email protected] or
Nscafe Unleaded wherever you downloaded this file.

"`Wow! Legs!'" Oh really?!?!... You think so do you? <ROFL><LOL><ROFL>

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